When I saw the bearded woman on the Eurovision, I have to admit I was a bit confused. At first, I thought well alright, raising awareness in front of 180 million people. Then reading up on it, turns out it is a man, dressing as a woman. A gay man, but not a drag queen. He would make a gorgeous woman.. but that beard, confuses me.

Back in the early 2000's, I started playing around with a thought of how sex would work between two women. At the time, gay guys were acknowledged – there was the original drama showQueer as folk, which raised awareness of gay men. Long behold, gay men got the title of being trendy,Queer eye for a straight guy started on television. Later, that awareness became a trend, and now I guess we call that type of a guymetrosexual(who even came up with this?). A little beforeThe L Word started, I was entertaining myself with a thought of not only being in love with a woman, but what if I'd at some point in my life became involved with someone who has changed sex or loves to dress the opposite gender. The L Word gave me some answers as to what it would be like with a woman, and most of all, how they have sex.Mind you, I was a teenager, these early events happened between the ages of 13 till 17.I started thinking what I'd do if I indeed fell in love with a person who likes to dress as the opposite sex or would want to change their gender completely. I came to the conclusion that if you truly love someone, gender does not even matter. You fell in love with their personality, not their physical appearance or their bank account or their whatever. You see beauty will retreat at one point, what would you have left in that relationship if it was only about that? The person might lose their possessions, would you leave them if they lost all of that?

Around the age of 16, my first puppy love was with a woman. An older person, someone in their early 20's, huge age gap at that point. In that relationship, I never really felt comfortable. I never really felt I could be truly myself. In fact, she was quite mean to me, almost to the point of bullying me. She wanted to push my buttons to see how far I'd go, and when I didn't get upset at her because I hate confrontation and fighting, she ended up teasing me. Foolishly, I followed her around and did everything she asked me of, like a puppy dog. That was my first love though. I didn't know any different.

The horror of coming out to my parents from a small narrow-minded town, that their daughter is gay. It scared me. They did have a hard time accepting me as I was, especially my dad. The subject made him uncomfortable. It was never really spoken afterwards. They said they still love me, and I will always be their daughter. That was enough for me. My grandma got really uncomfortable about my sexuality, coming from a very religious background, she said to me 'you'll see, this is only a growing phase to you'. A few years later, our relationship falls apart for many reasons. My world was crushed. My sister helped me stay strong through the nasty breakup. She was always the first person I'd go to since she had lived in a very liberal country of Holland, and at that point, it was more the norm there than anywhere else.

I wanted a community where I could fit in with being different, being a girl who loves other girls. I found it online. I started spending more of my time talking to these people,the internet connection had just changed from dial-up to modem when you didn't have to count all the minutes you were spending over the internet,I got involved with some of the girls I found interesting. One was from New Zealand, and she wanted to save up all the money she could get to move to Finland. I got too scared for ruining someone's life for moving across the world just to be with one person, who they haven't really been with in real life. I broke her heart. Another one was from the States, we got on well but she was very reserved, didn't get to really know her daily life although we did speak quite often. Again, I broke her heart.

As a kid, who had always been bullied in school for being too different, I guess, I found it comforting to find more like-minded people across the world. I was fascinated by it. Then everything changed when I found someone on one of the first social media sites, known asMyspace. They were really interesting to me. Tough on the outside but as you start to look closer, very soft on the inside. We started emailing one another. I think we ended up sending multiple emails a day to each other. They were heartbroken, as was I. While I was conscious of the possibility of being a 'rebound', it didn't last for very long, and quickly we became infatuated by one another. We'd spend hours on end talking to one another online. I remember the very first time we heard each other's voices… that person later told me, that I sounded like a man pretending to be a woman because my voice was super-high. I was super nervous. When I'm nervous and I like someone, I start giggling.

It didn't take very long for us to start spending the nights talking to each other, about everything, anything and yet nothing at all. I told them I'd go for a cycle at 4am because I couldn't sleep because during the summer in Finland, the sun wouldn't set at all. I cycled I think about 10-15 kilometers nearly everyday. I drank so much water, I was beginning to worry that I'd drown myself if I'd drink too much of it. I naturally lost weight. For the first time in my life, I felt someone accepted me just as I am, the same way I accepted them.

I had already decided I'd want to go be an au pair in Ireland, they told me that they'd be willing to do the same because they didn't have much else going at that point in their life. Besides, we wanted nothing more than to be close to each other, be able to see each other as much as possible. We met in Ireland, and that six months was the best time of my life. We were foolishly in love, the annoying couple who could not keep their hands off one another. It was magical time for both of us.

What was hard for us, is to be in a reserved Catholic country and be outside of the norm what these people were used to. I remember when it was outside of working hours, I wanted to be on the computer for a little while, and I had pictures of two women kissing each other as a profile pic on Myspace. This family asked me to not go on "those kinds of sites" because it is disturbing them and making them uncomfortable.

They followed me to Finland for a short while, before moving to Holland. We had fun together, we were really in love. Not too long from after we had moved in together, this person tells me probably one of the hardest things they had ever told – they were not comfortable in their own body, they were not comfortable being a female. Although this was a shock at first, and it did take me a month or two.. or three, to adapt to the thought. I started thinking of the previous years of how I thought I'd react in this situation. To me, it didn't really matter. I love that person for who they are, exactly as they are. The more I thought of it, the more it made sense to me. It didn't matter to me, which gender they are on the outside.

So the process physically started. They had to go through the hardest couple of years of their life. At this point, I was happy we were in their home country, because that was already acknowledged in Dutch society and the insurance covered it all. Many people have to pay all of it from their own pocket, and let me tell you – it's not cheap. They had to go through a psychological test, talking with a psychiatrist, ensuring that this is what this person really wants. Then it was real life test, where the scariest of all – having to use the opposite gender's toilet, having to be perceived as the opposite gender without physically being one as yet. Once the outcome of that was positive, they were able to start the hormone treatment and lastly, the remains of physical showing of being a female, it was time for the surgeries.

The transition, what felt natural to us, was difficult for the outsiders, even to our family members. Both of us had to come out again, as if at that time, it wasn't hard enough the first time around. We had to go through second round. Eventually, others started seeing that person for who they are, not define them by their gender. People gave me compliment for being so brave and strong being by this person's side.Wait, me? But I hadn't gone through the transition, it's harder on them than me.Maybe I am brave, I don't know. This change, this path I chose to take, was more than natural and extremely rewarding. I have always told this person that I've gotten the best of both worlds – the feminine and the male.

In this day and age, being gay is not a phenomena anymore. It is the same as breathing. No one really pays any mind to it. Loving someone of your own gender does not define who you are as a person. At the core, you are not a gender. You are fluid, ever-changing, ever-moving, flowing fluid. Thus, gender is fluid. I believe that the more we are awakened, in order to reach the next level of consciousness, we need to accept both feminine and masculine sides within ourselves. In that regard, transgendered people are ahead of their current time. They are leading the rest of us for they first and foremost, have to come to terms with the female and the male within. One cannot exist without the other.

I have always encouraged him to be brave enough and show both sides of him. To this day, my love for him has grown stronger. I feel we have bonded in ways that we wouldn't have had this not happened. I am ever so grateful to have such a beautiful and handsome person in my life. It is completely okay to have more feminine days, and to show emotions. It is okay to be more fearless and lion-hearted. The more he comes to terms with these aspects, the more he will start showing his true-self. Hence, he will live true to himself. He will live for himself, showing others the direction. He will become happier. Which, in return, will emanate from his being. More people will become fascinated by him. This, in the end, will ultimately raise awareness. Our world needs more people like him, people who accept themselves as they are. People who love all of their aspects and sides to them. It will help raise our Earth's vibrations, which will help in our collective consciousness – reaching to the next level.

There is a fine line between making fun of and playing around with genders. What this person in Eurovision, although it may have been from good intentions, has been brought out the wrong way. This may cause more bullying among the community of people who are battling with their genders. I truly hope that this person, is not a gay man doing it for the attention, though through my eyes it may have come across like that.

In this day and age, it is so easy to sit behind a screen and talk trash about others. Some are fearless, and think they can say anything to anyone, no matter how much it'd hurt the person on the other side of the screen. You don't know that person on the other side of the screen, they might just put on a brave face, just so they wouldn't lose face. Their circumstances might be completely opposite than what they make others believe. One day, one little word, one little sentence, might be the last sentence to send that person over the edge for they cannot take all of their fears and anxiety away. That day may very well be the last for them.

Please, be mindful of one another. Be kind to one another. Each of us are beautiful in our own unique way. Each of us has to come to terms with the feminine and masculine sides. Which one is your strongest? Which one do you keep hidden? What are some of the aspects of yourself that you hide from the world? Why hide these beautiful aspects of yourself? Be confident. Be your self. Be imperfect. Be unique.